17/08/2010
The Yo Ho Ho car journey
I only ask because mine can be about as annoying as a rodent-sized Crazy Frog impersonating mosquito with a shrill laugh and a habit of loudly crunching into your last biscuit, which it has taken without asking, as it buzzes by you just as you're about to drop off to sleep.
Perhaps the question should become an essential part of obtaining a car insurance quote. I only say this because I have firsthand experience of just how hazardous a backseat of young voices can be.
Last week we returned from our family holiday in Cumbria when the youngest decided that the only way he wouldn't wail, whinge and scream the whole way home was if we played Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle of Rum for the entire journey without enjoying a single moment's variation.
The plan had been to complete the journey in a single leg. After about three hours things got so bad that we ended up pulling in to a Premier Inn just so that my husband and I had somewhere safe to pull our hair out. And to make things worse, he refused to go to sleep unless we sang him the same song until his little eyelids settled closed – by which time ours were virtually bleeding.
Image © Hljod.Huskona, via Flickr under Creative Commons Licence
04/08/2010
Boring and bitter and I don't even have the last laugh
Perhaps I'm lacking in imagination, but what's the point? You buy a vehicle for a six- or seven-figure sum then spend tens-of-thousands of pounds a year on maintenance, not to mention the six-figure car insurance bill.
Also, I find the whole idea of spending so much money on a vehicle to be rather vulgar. I can't help but find showy displays of wealth and status to be nothing more than unreconstructed primitive behaviour; a bit like a gorilla beating its chest or a peacock spreading its feathers.
Whenever I see a six-figure supercar being parked I can almost hear David Attenborough's voice whispering, "And here we see the super rich male of the species advertising his wealth and status in a complex display of his parking prowess. As you can see, he is completely oblivious to his social popularity, instead choosing to focus on the attention his vehicle brings."
Yes, I'm sure there is more than a great deal of jealousy at play here, but I couldn't help but be delighted when I read this week about the £1.2 million Koenigsegg CCXR and £350,000 Lamborghini Murcielago LP670-4 SuperVeloce belonging to the new owners of Harrods. The two vehicles were pictured having been clamped outside the Kensington department store.
It also made me laugh that the owners, the Qatari Royal family, had to pay a combined £300 to have their vehicles unclamped. But, considering that they're worth around £2.5 billion, it's unlikely I'm having the last laugh.
Image © Ed Callow [torquespeak] via Flickr, under Creative Commons Licence
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